Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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