im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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