Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
