You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
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