Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
