the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
