Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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