Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
