I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
