I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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