i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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