Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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