i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
