The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
