Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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