Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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