Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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