The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
