you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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