This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I want to be your penis for a week.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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