she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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