I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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