anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
