I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
