it wasn't lemon gatorade
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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