What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
nutella sex= disaster
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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