If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Alive.
So much puke
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize