I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
