One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
