Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize