does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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