And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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