My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
