Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
