So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
