then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
