haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
