I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
jump out the window naked night went bad
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize