yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
