Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
she told me i tasted like america
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
