had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize