I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My balls are so social today.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
