i think my tv is drunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You're earring is so big in my mouth
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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