sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I forgot how hot balto sounded
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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