it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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