If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
