ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
