Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm at about main and main street
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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