I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
