He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
