Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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