so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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