I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
