They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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