If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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