You can't special order awesome
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I need water and some morals
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
