I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
