Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
she peed on how many people?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
