Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
we should paint friendship bongs
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
