we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
